He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
