I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
