I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
