The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
