none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
