I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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