remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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