Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
