that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
