You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
