I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize