??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
