I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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