no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize