i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
