I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
