why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
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