you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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