Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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