Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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