is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
