I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
