Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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