Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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