My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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