I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
