here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
