I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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