Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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