if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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