sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
