i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize