It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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