yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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