Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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