You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
