I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
