Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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