my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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