and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize