smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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