**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.