genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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