Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
