I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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