what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
