You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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