it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
