If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
