she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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