this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
