You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
