$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Threesome in a minivan. New low
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
