Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
