I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
