you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Drunk is not a location!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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