People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
