only you would photoshop your dick
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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