yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
