u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
