You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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