I just pynch a tree in the face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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