in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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