Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my shit smells like andre
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
