Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
