so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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